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Three Keys to Living Mindfully, Living Well

Writer's picture: Letecia GriffinLetecia Griffin

As a disclaimer, EnvisionCo Blog is reader-supported. Some links on this site are for additional informational purposes whereas some others are affiliate links (don't worry, these will be clearly marked as such). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign-up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This of course is at no additional cost to you. Additionally, EnvisionCo Blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is in no way intended to be a substitute for therapy by a trained mental health professional.


How has your week been? If I reflect, mine has been a kaleidoscope of differing emotions. Last Saturday, I wrapped up the final session of my Internal Family Systems (IFS) training. I had been reading about IFS off and on for years, trying desperately to get into the official training of the IFS Institute. I finally accomplished that goal and am more than just "book" train. I am an official IFS Practitioner! The joy that I feel about reaching this goal is immeasurable. Then there is the transition. I saw my last therapy client on Friday with the private practice for which I was a member. The joy of reviewing with each client the progress I was blessed to witness as they transformed and began connecting with themselves more, and trusting themselves more, and loving themselves more. Then there was the sadness in saying goodbye that was apparent in the therapy room. Then there is the excitement of the next chapter to come-the ability to build out my coaching practice more and connect with people in a more holistic way that doesn't focus on pathology (illness or disorders) but instead focuses more on intrinsic strengths and inner resources. When I reflect, this is the life I was meant to live. A life of service to others, uplifting, motivating, and inspiring them. This to me is living well. What about you?



Can you hear this picture? Often times if I am doing my personal imagery meditation, there is a beach there. The smell of the ocean. The sound of the wind and the waves. The sight of the seagulls. The feel of the sun's warming rays beaming down on my skin. I love the feeling I have when I am at the beach. When I am there physically, I believe it is the one time I am the absolute most mindful. I am fully engaged in drinking in the scene. Because that is what mindfulness is all about. Being fully aware of whatever is happening in the present moment. At the beach, I can do just that. I am not judging myself for a conversation that was taken the wrong way two weeks ago. I am not worried about the notes waiting to be typed from client sessions. I am not worried about the bills that need to be paid. When I am at the beach, I am not in a state of doing. I am in a state of being. Meaning I give myself permission to just be. I give myself permission to be curious about all the sights and sounds around me and am intentional in just being fully aware and present. So, it is little wonder that when I need to wind down and relax, the beach is the imagery I conjure to help aid in that goal of relaxing. Living life this way for me is living well. What about you?



Three Keys to Living Mindfully, Living Well

I ask, "What about you?" because I genuinely want you to start considering, if you haven't, what a personal mindfulness practice looks like for your life. Your take may not look like my take, and that is perfectly fine. My take does not look like my coach's take. Her take does not look like her coach's take and so on. The specifics of a mindful life and a life well lived are highly personal and vary greatly from individual to individual. But one thing my lived experience and studies have shown me is that a mindful life often lays the foundation for a life well lived. When we cultivate presence, acceptance, and gratitude, we create a fertile ground for personal growth, deeper connections, and a greater sense of living well.




1. Mindful Presence

We have many demands on our time and attention. I know I often feel pulled in so many directions in my day-to-day life. And I'll admit that there are times, I am on autopilot. I'm also almost willing to bet that you do too. For example, how often is it that you eat food while watching TV, working, or scrolling through your phone? Or you have been so busy, that you ignore the first signs of hunger cues opting to eat later when you are done with whatever it is you were working on? Or you are so rushed that you eat whatever food is quick, easy, convenient because you have to be back at work in 20 minutes? Believe it or not, this is a form of being on autopilot and we are just talking about eating. How many other areas of your life are you rushing through just to get to the other side of a task? Or just to get on with the next thing? Or just to fill in time? We do it with just about everything in some form or fashion. From rushing through chores, getting lost in thought while driving, to mindlessly scrolling social media. Living life well means being present-waking up and paying attention. Did you notice the giggle of the children at the playground, really letting it penetrate deep to connect with your own inner child? Did you notice the radiant smile of your elderly neighbor who still somehow rises earlier than you to water her garden every morning? Did you witness the beauty of the honeysuckles and actually pause to breathe in its fragrance? How much of the day today have you been awake? And by awake, I mean present.



2. Let Your Values Lead

From an early age, we are forced to choose. We are forced to have an opinion. We are forced to have a favorite. We are forced to declare what we want to do and be when we grow up. If not forced, then often times heavily coerced. In our society, there's a prevalent idea that everyone should have a clear set of values. And often times, they would much prefer those values align with theirs. This can create a sense of inadequacy in us when we are unsure, or if we are sure but ours is different or a little off the beaten path. There is a lot of pressure to do well, be better, achieve more, look a certain way, prove you belong in our club. Societal norms, family, and friends can influence our value system, making it hard to distinguish between our authentic values and external pressures. However, if you are desirous of living a life well lived, then you have to accept the invitation to set with yourself and become comfortable with asking what it is that is truly important to you. What makes you happy? What do you care about the most? Who do you care about the most? What are you absolutely passionate about? It is the answers to questions like these that will point you in the direction of your values. And much like a compass, your values will point you in the direction of a life well lived.



3. Befriending Your Mind

Once you become more aware of your everyday surrounding and you begin hashing out what values are important to you, you may experience some conflicts. What you see or notice in the world may not always be beautiful. You may also find that some of the values you find important conflict with or are contradictory to some other values you hold. You may find that at times you act in ways contradictory to your values as well. Or experience the frustration of others trampling over the things that are important to you. When this happens, a lot of inner self-criticisms may emerge. It may feel that you are in war with your own mind at times. Do not wage the war. Instead, befriend your mind. We discussed the concept of befriending a little in the article, "Frenemies No More: Mindfully Extinguish the Flames of Anger." Our minds can be our worst enemies or our best friend. Choose friendship. Mindfulness is about our mind being and becoming our best friend. To be clear though, you have to have an answer to what friendship means to you. Think about a person or persons you consider a good friend. What do they do for you? What is it like having them journey with you in good times and bad? Once you have the answers to those questions, then you can begin to understand the friendship you must cultivate with your own mind. Then you can begin to live mindfully and live well.



Where to Begin?

Start small my friends. It can be something as simple as engaging in mindful breathing or a mindful body scan. One thing I like to do with my therapy and coaching clients (heck on Mondays my social media followers) is assign them a mindful task (usually something small) to use as their growing edge for that week. Then I ask that they take a few moments (no more than 5 minutes but more if they like) each day to just reflect on their attitudes and things that are important to them (values). Because I am meeting weekly with my clients, it helps them build the inner reserve to be consistent.




In essence, a mindful life is an invitation to wake up and truly live. Embarking on this personal journey can transform your life in profound ways. I think of myself and the transition I experienced from desiring official IFS training, to completing the official IFS training, to closing a chapter with the private practice I was with and opening a new chapter leaning into coaching. When I shed the layers of being on autopilot and embraced the richness of the present moment, my values became more clear and I began aligning my actions with those core values. What about you? Are you ready to begin fostering a harmonious relationship with your mind, creating a foundation for a life filled with meaning, purpose, and well-being? As you embark on this path, remember that the specifics of your mindful practice may look different from mine or anyone else’s, and that’s perfectly okay. What matters is finding what resonates with you and cultivating a life that feels authentically well-lived. Small steps, like mindful breathing or reflecting on your values, can lead to profound transformations. But as I always encourage-wherever you are on this journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading.



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In today's high-pressure environment, managing stress and avoiding burnout has become more crucial than ever. It involves our very health! On July 27, 2024 at 6:00pm CST, we will be hosting a fireside chat of sorts delving into stress, burnout, and solutions to regain balance and maintain your well-being. Whether you're facing the demands of a challenging career, juggling family responsibilities, or simply seeking ways to improve your quality of life, this webinar offers invaluable insights and tools to help you thrive. Join us by registering here.



"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou

 

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