
As a disclaimer, EnvisionCo Blog is reader-supported. Some links on this site are for additional informational purposes whereas some others are affiliate links (don't worry, these will be clearly marked as such). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign-up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This of course is at no additional cost to you. Additionally, EnvisionCo Blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is in no way intended to be a substitute for therapy by a trained mental health professional.
In the quest for a fulfilling and peaceful life, we often encounter various internal and external barriers that disrupt our well-being. In a world that often rewards perfection and control, we’ve become prisoners of our own expectations. This self-imposed prison only serves to disrupting our peace and draining our joy. By understanding these peace disruptors, we can begin to dismantle them and create a more fulfilling life. This article explores eight common peace disrupters. By identifying and addressing these patterns, we can learn to let go of what holds us back and move towards a more balanced and fulfilling existence. Let's get into it.
Control Freak:Â Micromanaging Your Way to Mayhem

In our day to day lives, energy is one of our most precious resources. Like money, it is finite, and we have to be careful and spend it wisely. Feeling the need to control or micromanage every aspect of your own life or the lives of others around you will on serve to annoy the hell out of everyone else and stress you out. Stress is definitely a peace disrupter and a joy drainer. There is enough in life to be stressed about without us making a conscious effort to stress ourselves out even further by trying to control everything around us. If you are a fixer like me, I get that this is a hard one. When life brings me problems, I feel I have to have solutions. This past year has been a whole journey unlearning that. I need you to unlearn that with me. You can only control what you can control. And please don't go looking for things to control. Some things are simply out of your control or none of your business to control. Learn to let go.
Shoulding Yourself:Â The Tyranny of the Ought
This mindset is one that I believe is an undertone fueling micromanaging. We get this thought or idea in our heads about how things, "should be," and then we are off to the races. Ever catch yourself saying, "I should do this" or "I shouldn't have done that" or "They should have done this instead"? When we develop a case of the shoulds, we operate from this pattern of inflexible rules about how we and others should act. Any deviation from this value or standard is seen as bad leading to us judging others and ourselves. This kind of tyranny is not peace bringing or joy releasing. This self-imposed pressure can drain your energy and the energy of anyone who has to tolerate your shouldisms. Learn to let go.
Waiting for Perfect:Â Paralyzed by Potential
I absolutely blame TV. From commercials to shows and movies, the idea of the perfect moment ruined me. In many ways, paralyzed me from taking the leaps and opportunities because, "It just isn't the right time." For many years, I bought into the myth of the perfect moment. Listen, perfection is a mirage. Waiting for "just the right time" will only end up in us waiting forever. Take imperfect action and watch how progress, not perfection, brings peace. Don't get so caught up in "waiting for the stars to align" that you miss out on opportunities to get messy, grow, laugh, love, and be supported. Learn to let go.
Comparison:Â The Envy Epidemic
I cannot even blame social media for this one entirely. If you follow or are familiar with any of the Abrahamic religions, comparison and envy have been the thief of joy for humankind since the beginning. It's older than Cain and Abel. Do you know the story? Let's recap:
Cain and Abel were the sons of Adam and Eve. Cain, the oldest of the two brothers, was a farmer. Abel his brother was a shepherd. As the story goes, both presented themselves before God to offered up offerings-Cain offered fruit from his harvest whereas Abel offered up firstborn from his flock. God favored Abel's offering over Cain's, which sparked feelings of jealousy and anger in Cain and he ultimately lured his younger brother into a field and killed him. The story of Cain and Abel is often interpreted as a lesson on the dangers of jealousy, the importance of self-control, and the moral responsibility we have towards one another. |
Cain was so busy focusing on and brooding over his brother's success story, that he failed to self-reflect and begin his journey of writing his own. What about you? Now there may not be a soul alive that can lead you down the path of actually unaliving someone based off envy. But does it have you assassinating their character? Or assassinating your own character or dreams? Does the movies and TV shows that you watch have you longing for a different sort of life and then criticizing yourself for not having that life? Does scrolling through social media observing the "lives" of people you know and influencers you don't have you feeling less than? When you begin that comparison game, what things do think about them and how they got to where they are? Is it mostly good things? Or do you attribute it to some nefarious acts on their part? What sort of things do you think to yourself about why you are not similarly positioned? Comparison is the quickest way to disrupt your peace and drain your joy. Learn to let go.
Growth Adverse:Â Stuck in Neutral
Say it with me, "I don't have all of the answers." In the counseling and coaching world, there are built in buffers to help keep me firmly grounded in this reality. Real-estate, insurance, doctors, and other similar professional facing careers have built in systems too. They call them continuing education units (CEUs). It reminds us that our education in our field did not stop just because we got that piece of paper (degree). Our fields grow and change. New discoveries are made leading to the need for an update in our operational procedures. Even if you are not in a career that requires this sort of ongoing study, find something to study anyway. Research for research's sake. Read for reading's sake. Watch informational podcasts. Learn a new word a day. Learn a new language. Attend an event on a special interest topic i.e. gardening, sewing, canning, painting, music, finances. Being stuck in neutral isn't peaceful nor does it bring joy in the long run. None of us could possibly know everything there is to know about life and the world around us. It doesn't matter that you are no longer 18. Or no longer 25. Or no longer 40. There are still things for you to learn and grow. So that notion that once you get a certain age, you have arrived at wisdom...learn to let go.
Nostalgia:Â Lost in Yesterday
Keep growing. And though it is okay to take the occasional stroll down memory lane, don't get stuck there. No matter how beautiful the memories, you are no longer that person. You’re not even the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago. While reminiscing about the good old days can be pleasant, living in the past can prevent you from enjoying the present. Cherish your memories but make new ones today. Too much nostalgia for yesteryears is a peace disrupter and draining to your joy. There is a reason why the windshield is larger than the rearview mirror. Learn to let go.
Fear of Failure:Â The Failure Phobia

No one wants to fail. In fact, no one embarks on any endeavor with the secret hope that they fail first, so they know what doesn't work. In fact, it's that nagging voice in our head whispering, "What if I fail?" that often prevents us from taking any action in the first place. Here is the reality though. If you were to truly sit down with any person whom society deems a success, you will hear from them a tale of some failure they had to face at some point in their journey. Some of our greatest discoveries were accidents (read result of failure here). All of your ideas that don’t work are simply stepping stones to the one idea that does. Now this is not to say embracing failure means giving up on excellence or rendering a subpar product. It does mean that the unrealistic expectation of not failing is disruptive of your peace and draining to your joy.
Failure is an essential step toward personal growth because it teaches resilience, perseverance, and optimism. No matter how many mistakes you make or how slowly you progress, you're still miles ahead of those who aren't making any effort at all. Learn to let go.
Can't Forgive: The Grudge Collector, The Bitterness Breeder
Okay you failed. So what!?!? How long do you intend to hold that grudge and breed that bitterness towards yourself? Life is a journey filled with both triumphs and mistakes. Along the way, we all make poor decisions, lack understanding, or act recklessly, especially in our youth. These missteps can leave a lasting impact, but they are also a part of the growing pangs of life. Our true power lies in learning from the past and letting go of its weight. Self-forgiveness is the catalyst for our personal evolution. Being unforgiving of ourselves, disrupts our peace and drains our joy. Learn to let go.
What did you think about this list of peace disrupters and joy drainers? Do you agree or disagree? Can you think of any others that didn't make our list? Please drop your thoughts in the comment section below. You become what you consistently do. If your habits aren't helping you, they're harming you. Ultimately, finding peace and joy lies in letting go of the things that hold us back. By recognizing the detrimental effects of control, unrealistic expectations, comparison, and fear, we can begin to cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life. It's about embracing imperfections, living in the present moment, and fostering a growth mindset. You can't move forward if you keep looking back. It's your moment to reinhabit your peace and reclaim your joy! Please remember though, wherever you are on this wellness journey, do not worry about getting it perfect; just get it going. Until next time. Happy reading!
Did you miss the event on Saturday, July 27th??? We are proud to announce we are considering an encore, preferably before football season begins. With that in mind, August has 5 Saturdays. We're leaning towards the 3rd Saturday (August 17th). Vote in our poll and let us know which Saturday is your winner.

Burnout Encore Webinar
0%2nd Saturday
0%3rd Saturday
0%4th Saturday
0%5th Saturday
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."Â ~Nelson Mandela
Here at EnvisionCo Blog, we try to keep ads to a minimum making our blog entirely reader-supported. We may feature links on this site for additional informational purposes. From time to time, we may feature other links which are affiliate links (and these will be clearly marked). When you click through an affiliate link on our site and sign up for a service or finalize a purchase, we may earn affiliate commissions. This is of course at no additional cost to you. However, if you like what you see and would like to make a donation to help us keep ads to a minimum, we would greatly appreciate it! Nothing fancy. We accept the price of a cup coffee with as much gratitude as we would the price of a tank of gas!
Comments